Chopping The Cherry Tree

Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe .. His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :-

'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'


This is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question :-

PM Badawi - I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.

Najib - I swear that I have never MET that tree.

Hishamuddin- ... but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree.

Dr.M - Apa nama cherry tree, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.

Chua Soi Lek - Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.

VK Lingam - It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think it’s me.

Anwar Ibrahim - I DID NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA samples for you to plant on the axe handle.

Khir Toyo - the new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.

Ahmad Said ( Terenganu MB )- I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.

Azalina Othman - The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down. Besides there were unauthorized signboards put up around the tree.

Shabery Cheek - I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.

Samy Velu - I chopped it because HINDRAF members were using it as a meeting point.

Ali Rustam - We have planted Durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.

Rais Yatim - you must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustam said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see- it’s a WIN-WIN situation all around.

Sharir Samad - I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidize it.

Karpal Singh - The bigfoot creature did it.

Bung Mokhtar - The big monkey did it.

Pandikar Amin Mulia - There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees, Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.sit down.

Khairy Jamaluddin - I did not do it, neither did the mat rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?

Lim Kit Siang - In response to Khairy - cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford .

Nazri Aziz - racist, racist, racist, when we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss.

Lawatan ke Kandang Lembu

Saya dan isteri telah pergi melawat ke satu ladang lembu dan kami berhenti di setiap kandang tempat lembu lembu di biak.

Kami sampai di kandang pertama dan ada satu papan tanda yang di letakkan yang menyatakan, LEMBU JANTAN INI TELAH MENGAWAN SEBANYAK 50 KALI TAHUN LEPAS.

Isteri saya secara jenaka mencuit saya dan dalam senyum berkata : 'Dia mengawan 50 kali tahun lepas.'


Kami kemudian pergi ke kandang kedua yang ada papan tanda berikut : ''LEMBU JANTAN INI TELAH MENGAWAN SEBANYAK 150 KALI TAHUN LEPAS '

Sekali lagi isteri saya mencuit saya dan berkata :, 'WOW~~Itu dah lebih dari dua kali seminggu..........Abang boleh belajar banyak dari dia .'


Kami berjalan pula ke kandang seterusnya dan di situ ada papan tanda dalam huruf besar yang menyatakan : 'LEMBU JANTAN INI TELAH MENGAWAN SEBANYAK 365 KALI TAHUN LEPAS'

Isteri saya menjadi girang dan mencuit saya dengan kuat dan berkata :
'Itu bermakna sekali setiap hari .... Abang MEMANG boleh belajar banyak dari lembu jantan ini " !!!

Saya pun pandang isteri saya dan berkata kepada nya,"
'Awak pergi tanya lembu jantan ini, selama 365 hari itu, adakah dengan LEMBU BETINA TUA YANG SAMA ??

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!