Jokes Again

Signal for sex

Man marries deaf girl.
He mimes to her: "Let's make a signal code if we want sex?"
She nods and agrees.
So he goes: "If I want sex, I'll squeeze your breast. In response you can shake my penis once for "yes" and 50 times for "no"....

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Smart

Tom ask hooker how much for sex?
She says: $50 on bed, $20 on sofa and $10 on grass.
He then hands her $50.
She says: "You man of class, one time on bed...?"
He says: "NO!! 5 times on grass...."

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New drink from Malaysia

The Malaysian government has approved the release of a new drink made with cutting edge technology. It's a combination of Horlicks, Milo Kopi & Teh. It's called - "LICKMYKOTEH"....

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Expiry date

A 95 yr old man sucks his 90yr old wife's breast for 1/2 hour, drinks 2 drops of her milk and dies...
Post-mortem report - Died of drinking something after EXPIRY DATE ...

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Biology Lesson

Teacher: A man's penis has 2 key functions: Urination & Reproduction.
Student: But my dad uses it to brush our maid's teeth.

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Government job

A guy goes to interview for a Government job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"
The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."
"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?"
The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."
"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right now ! Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started."
The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?"
" Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that!"